I have been dating a married man for two years!

by Carolina
(UK)

Thank you so much for this site. I have just finished a two year relationship with a married man. I am just about to turn 40yrs old and thought I had met the man of my dreams. He told me his relationship with his wife had been over for years but he didn't have the guts to leave because he loved his children so much. He said that since we had met he realised he had to put his future happiness first and he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me.

I have kept this relationship a secret from my family and friends because I am so ashamed of seeing a married man. I convinced myself we loved each other so much that we were just meant to be.

But I have been so unhappy and fed up with feeling disappointed when he moves the goal post without even telling me. I have to just find things out because he is too much of a coward to talk to me. Everytime I push for a descion 'end it with me or leave'...he ends up making me feel sorry for him and I agree to anything.

I suddenly thought to myself what happens if I actually do get this man! Do I really want him? Do I want to break his wife's heart and his children just to make me happy? And will I actually ever be happy with this man who not only cheats but puts his own happiness above his beautiful children? The answer is no. I want a man who could never contemplate leaving his children, I want a man who is faithful. If his married is so over why hasn't he left years ago? Answer money - and he loves his kids. Do I want to be the woman that takes a dad away from his kids? Answer no - let it be someone else, let them have the years of tears and heartache.

I deserve and want better, I want a faithful husband and someone who does what he says he is going to do!

Thank you once again for this site keeping me on the right track...