So many directions...

by Brokenhearted girl
(TX)

I have been seeing a married man for over a year now. He is married and has 3 middle aged kids. I am also married and have 2 smaller children. I am so confused. This is so hard because he is a Police Sergeant and I'm a dispatcher! We work the same shift and have to constantly communicate. I really really know what I need to do because it's becoming harder and harder to be the other woman. Every time he puts me aside to have dinner with his wife, or can't talk to me after 5 when she is home I'm just left missing him until we can talk again. He says he would leave but understands my kids are young and do not understand. He also said he is not ready to break his kids hearts since this is his 3rd marriage and his kids finally have a step mom they can count on.

He said he is willing to put his happiness aside for them until he's ready. I understand what he is saying and I want to think he means well but I do not think he has been 100% truthful about how close or "not so close" he and his wife are. He sure does a lot to be so unhappy and playing the role. He calls it keeping the peace. It takes nothing anymore to upset me..just as I am reading others post I'm sad because I know I'm in such a tough position. I know she loves him and since I have been married 8 years and him 3 I feel like I'm just at a different place than him.

I truly love him and even before our affair we have been friends for over 5yrs. This is so hard. I know it's unfair and wrong but the heart wants what the heart wants. I'm certain he will never leave her and to be honest I never asked or even expected it. This started out as fun and had whirled into this monster of an affair and emotions. Please..any advice is appreciated.