by Dianna
(New Jersey)

I met my soulmate 25 years ago. We were each other's first loves. Our relationship lasted three years and then due to family issues, it ended, sort of like a real Romeo and Juliet. We both moved on and married other people and had families, during that time, we kept in touch, but very casually.

I always wished things had turned out differently for us and he felt the same.

Two years ago, my marriage fell apart. We began keeping in touch more regularly and spoke on the phone everyday for the next six months, but did not see each other.

Shortly after, our relationship became stronger and it was hard to be apart. We started seeing each other more often and even went on a couple vacations together.

His wife only knew we were talking but he told her he still had feelings for me. During this time, things were difficult because we were doing everything in secret for the sake of his family and that was very hard for me because I was single and felt like I was always second in his life. My family and friends know that we see each other, but I am a phantom in his life.

About a month ago, he moved out of his house but still wanted to keep our relationship a secret. Still not being very available to me and feeling like he was not filling me in on things that were going on at home, I asked him if there was a chance he would move back home and he couldn't give me an answer. I felt as though I needed to know where this relationship was going and if we were going to finally be able to share our lives together in the open.

Our therapist suggested we take some time apart to figure things out. It's only been a week but I have this feeling he moved back already. He won't tell me because he said we aren't supposed to be in contact now. I am left in the dark now as to what is going on with his situation and am feeling so hurt and frustrated.

I have to wonder if this time apart was a mistake because I don't see how this will help our situation.

Comments for

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Feb 17, 2012
move on dear NEW
by: ron

You're right you'll always be second on his priority list.If he is still married then you got to leave him alone.Until he shows you the divorce papers I would not have anything to do with him.You already know that you'll be put on the backburner if you get involved with him.Don't let him have his cake and eat it too.That was your mistake all along.Men will treat you the way you let them.So don't settle for scrappy seconds.Move on dear,you deserve to be first.That'll only happen with a single guy.

Feb 16, 2012
Good that you saw a therapist! NEW
by: Sonia

First of all let me congratulate you for seeing a therapist. I believe you will get a right direction from this time apart. If he has already taken off you too must take care of yourself. Although he was ur first love but must keep in mind that his marriage is still intact. Im really sorry for what happened to you. But darling you need to take time off this for some time. Give yourself a break. Take a short trip you will feel better. I understand it will very tough for you because i am going thru a tough time too. My hubby and me are apart now ever since he came to know my relation with a MM. I wait for him and pray to get him back. I will pray hard and if God exists he has to answer my prayers.
You need to move on slowly because you cannot force him to come back. Meanwhile you need to go on. If he comes to you leaving everything believe him only when he files for divorce.
Take care I will pray for your well being.

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